Andy Lykens

If you want a useful restaurant recommendation it’s important to ask someone you trust and make sure they know you’re lactose intolerant, love spicy food, and will be in New York City in May.

Most people do the opposite when they ask questions at work: it’s more like they’re asking their best friend where to get dinner tonight – there’s a lot that doesn’t need to be said and pre-existing knowledge and experience with exactly this problem.

At work this method causes back and forth, even more email, and extra time.

When asking for help from busy people, or from people who’s attention is important to you, don’t overlook asking your question directly and don’t forget to give them the information they need. That will help them help you fastest.

This is also why people prefer handling things over the phone or in person – it ensures they can have an efficient conversation, help decipher next steps, and move on (and have a trimmer inbox to boot).

If you provide a service, you can’t tell your buyer how important your relationships are and then demand something unreasonable from them when your supplier puts pressure on you.

Because then what you’re saying is “my supplier relationships are important, and my relationship with my buyers can be sacrificed because without my supplier, I have nothing to offer.” This of course makes no sense because without buyers, your suppliers will be out of business.

The hard part about partnerships isn’t when two sides are at odds, it’s when business priorities are at odds with business promises.

In those cases it’s critical to consider what your objectives are, and what promises you’re making to everyone, and then evaluate what being a good partner means.

They add up. And each time you make one, you put an obstacle in your own way.

Tonight I almost skipped my nightly dose of apple cider vinegar because I just brushed my teeth and it would taste bad.

I love the feeling I get from taking the stuff and it’s crazy to me that minor feelings of aversion to a bad taste would somehow outweigh something I value highly; it’s crazy I’d subconsciously prevent myself from taking this action.

Then I had the realization that I get in my own way all the time and reflected on recent frustrations in my life where I’m getting in the way of my other goals.

Next I had the idea for this post, and thought:

But you haven’t posted in ages, plus you’d be staying up later

and caught myself making 2 more small excuses and then grabbed my phone and started typing.

I’ve started with 2 steps:

1. Promise to get out of your own way
2. Notice where you’re making small excuses

Once you’re frustrated with stagnation and inaction enough to commit to clearing your own mental path, tuning in makes the source of friction obvious.

The combination of those two steps is powerful: You’ll be bias to action and cutting through excuses in no time.