Well, at least I think I’m funny.

I’m at a breaking point, in a good way. Shoving back for once. Realizing potential for once. I’ve stared so long over the cliff that the chasm is starting to seem too deep to do any damage, or a mirage meant to trick my brain and keep me from jumping. I’m getting a feeling like taking this plunge will be more like falling up. Falling up at a rate faster than I can imagine, whisking me towards an infinite liberation painted by starry skies. Not that I don’t have to prepare for clouds, rain, and even thunder but those things are on their way down. And I’m falling up past them and through them.

There’s a fire. It started a long time ago in the recesses of my mind, a spark I thought I could ignore. But it’s been spreading. It’s made me jittery and afraid as I stand next to this chasm-mirage because there is no where to go. It’s been getting more and more virulent. Spreading rapidly, lighting everything ablaze. It’s everywhere now and all it wants is to throw me over that ledge, and up into the chasm. It shouts at me:

“What are you doing?”

“What’s taking so long?”

“Just jump!”

And more of the same. It’s talking so loudly now; over the part of me pleading to keep holding on. That if I let go I’ll surely plummet into the depths of the unknown forever scarred, maimed and forgotten.

It shouts that I’m already scarred. That I’ve already been maimed and limping about for years. And to be forgotten surely you have to make yourself known first.

So here I am, caught at the edge of a chasm. And everything is catching on fire.

This morning something occurred to me that sums up my feelings about goals, creativity, and life in general. Initially I was surprised that it took me so long to have this realization, but after closer examination and using the keen perspective of hindsight it appears I haven’t been focused on much of anything until about 9 months ago.

What I’m talking about is pursuit. Naturally we all know the infamous ‘life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,’ but what occurred to me finally, at the age of 28 (28!) is the pursuit. The pursuit of it.

What an amazing word and an amazing phrase: The pursuit of happiness. Not the hopes of happiness, not the dreams or the goal setting or the ambition of happiness. The pursuit of happiness.

It’s a great phrase because pursuit indicates forward motion. It indicates action. Going after something, working, being active towards achieving something. Then I understood everything I’ve read lately and everything I’ve achieved and not achieved and why it did or didn’t happen. And it all boils down to pursuit.

Pursuit is the reason I hate television. It’s the reason I don’t want to be surrounded by negative people, uncreative people, and people who make excuses, fear failure, or create limits and barriers for themselves and others.

Pursuit does not allow room for any of those things to be substantial. It obliterates them. It is the ultimate problem solver.

In my efforts to be more positive, more helpful, more creative, and in general happier, I’m going to start applying the pursuit rule to my life by simply asking myself:

Am I truly pursuing my happiness right now?

To be quite honest, I’m scared. There are a lot of things that I am not pursuing right now, or that I don’t pursue enough and there are a lot of things I do that distract me from pursuing happiness. This is new for me - for years believing that anyone can achieve anything, yes, but believing and pursuing are two different things. Believing is easy. Pursuing is work.

I’m starting small and I’m starting today. One phone call, ten more minutes of time, a few more steps in the right direction. In a year I hope to be in a full sprint, ahead of the pack and running up front with the winners; those who are happy because they pursue it. I want to leave the dreamers behind once and for all.

A friend of mine sent me an email earlier today linking to this article. I just wanted to post a little something to let you all know how smart I am.

The unemployment rate is currently at 8.1% That’s the U3 index - not the U6. Which basically means that it doesn’t include all the people who were not working for various reasons like maternity leave, having been in prison, having already been unemployed, working part time, etc. The U6 is more like 15%.

In the nation’s history, we have had 10 months with similar statistics in the past 30 years. 4 of them were the past 4 months in a row.

I heard this news today on NPR’s money podcast and having just returned from Italy I can’t help but think ’so what?’ Not because I’m some cruel person, not because I have my job and don’t care about others, but having just spent the last 8 days marveling at works created by Donatello, Michelangelo, Giotto, and other ninja turtles, I began to wonder: How does this recession affect the arts?

Think about it. Millions of people out of work. Millions of people who might play piano or guitar or song-write in their spare time. Millions who gave up their dream of painting, sculpting, or singing because it couldn’t earn them money.

Now faced with only the prospect of job-hunting and idle hands, how many people will return to the pen and the page after spending a few hours monotonously tweaking resumes and making phone calls to prospective employers?

Could this recession yield a new renaissance in American art? Will the next Beatles form or the next Michelangelo emerge? Will people start drawing ideas from the collective human subconscious now freed from the bonds of constantly seeking money be suddenly flooded with desire and passion for something more creative than a spreadsheet?

Granted not everyone will have the means to buy paints or instruments but my thinking is we’ll see an influx of musicians, artists, writers, and thinkers dedicating a much more significant portion of time to what was once their hobby. It will be interesting to see what impact the recent economic downfall has on our artforms, and I for one and am excited at the possibility of the results.

This is easily the greatest 20 minutes of I spent of my life in the past year, and one of the BEST orations I’ve ever seen. If you do anything creative, watch it.

The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

– Anne Morriss

The disappointment of hearing something someone has already said can be completely crushing. From a stand-up comic doing a crappy version of a previously brilliant joke, to a musician mimicking an artist who was adventurous and creative nothing bothers me more than people putting no creative thought into what they say and do.

Oddly enough, there’s a fine line - quoting movies and TV shows as we all know gets very old, but expanding on a character can be hilarious if done in a new and creative fashion. Musicians using ideas from greats and molding it into something of their own is another example of using a founding idea but in a new setting to bring interesting perspective or expand upon it.

Time and again this occurs to me as I constantly challenge myself to say something slightly differently, twist some words or some notes, and wring out something new from my brain. Though I don’t consider myself tremendously talented at this by any means, challenging yourself to be truly creative is a lot of fun and demands not only patience, but the will to fail (that will being something I’m only now discovering and a whole post unto its own).

Too often I see and hear people around me in everyday life as well as ‘professionals’ taking the easy way out. It’s such a let down in so many ways and I never can understand how they can let themselves get away with it. Do yourself a favor and hold yourself to the highest creative standards - it makes the simplest things challenging and can make things terribly funny, astute, and profound.

I know, I know, sucky title. Look, I’m happy we have a new president and I think it’s cool America has turned enough of a corner to get a black dude in the white house - but this is more ridiculous than I thought it would be. The Today Show was just gushing about any and everything their camera was focused on, people are hoping to find “Obama Parties” to go to, and I think it’s all a bit much.

Earlier a friend of mine criticized me for suggesting that people were going too far with their celebrations, it went a little something like this…

Excited Person: Woooo! WOOO! Woooo!! WOOOO!

Andy: Hey, what’s all the fuss about?

Excited Person: OBAMA! WOOO!!! WOOO!! woooooooo!

Andy: Oh the inauguration is today, cool.

EP: Wooooo hooo! YOW! OW OW OW OW OW!!

Andy: …Um, you already knew he’d be president on this day right?

EP: Of course but now it’s FINALLY here! OW OW OW OW! It’s Historical! It’s an historical event!

Andy: Why is it historical? The president always gets inaugurated on this day.

EP: He’s black! YES! WOOO!

Andy: Yes but, surely you’re not that excited simply because our president is black. Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was great when he got elected months ago, but he’s got a lot of work to do as President. Our country is in bad shape. He’s got to work on the budget, the economy, essentially the entire Middle-East is in worse shape than Kevin James’ toilet, and—

EP: HEY! GO TO HELL! WHY CAN’T I BE EXCITED! I’M GOING TO A FUCKING PARTY TO DRINK MY FACE OFF AND THEN CELEBRATE HOW MUCH THE COUNTRY HAS CHANGED!

Andy: But the country hasn’t changed yet. Circuit City will be laying off 30,000 employees this week. There’s really nothing to party about - we already knew Obama would be president since November.

EP: Oh you think you’re SOOOO cool! Being APATHETIC. You just like PISSING people off! That’s the only reason you’re being logically coherent about the inauguration today! You’re too stupid to be blind to the fact that essentially nothing has actually happened yet, and that we’re celebrating for literally, no good reason at all, except race, which is kind of racist in and of itself if you think about it!

Andy: Um, I was apathetic for the last two elections I voted in and no one seemed to get upset about that. I just don’t like the government - I don’t trust most politicians much less respect their intelligence - no matter which party they run under. Obama can definitely do some good and I think he will, but he hasn’t done it yet, and it’ll probably take at least 2 years, if not his entire first term.
But I will definitely celebrate then when our economy is recovering and other various, huge problems are on their way to being resolved.

EP: You’re such an ASSHOLE and I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU FOR LIVING! And I especially hate you for having a different opinion than me and for reserving your celebration until there’s actually something to celebrate! GO TO HELL! I’m leaving!

Andy: Wow, the only way that could’ve gone worse is if Franklin showed–

Franklin: Hello!

Andy: *sigh*

Believe it or not, this isn’t going to be a post about Nickelback though I can’t imagine their music doing any better on a creative scale. Microsoft is introducing a new program called “Songsmith” which allows you to sing along to a drummer, and then builds music around it based on big smiley icons and other childish graphical representations that overly simplify essentially the entirety of music. You can read about their terrible ad campaign and even watch their more terrible commercial here.

Look, enough is enough. It’s one thing for actual musicians to be given simple technology (like Garage Band) to be able to record themselves being at least somewhat musical, but reducing the creative process to something as trivial as randomly warbling into a microphone and then having a computer generate everything else…well, I guess it’d be good if you’re between the ages of 3 and 6, other than that? It’s like being able to get 3-stars on Rock Band on the medium setting and calling yourself a musician.

Thanks Microsoft, I can’t wait to hear all the “music” you’ve enabled moronic high-schoolers to create - hope you like songs about farts!

Wow. Really? Wow. 17.4 Billion. 17.4. Billion. Because you weren’t smart enough to run your company.

Look I’m all about people having jobs and work to do and the like, but honestly, if your employer is stupid enough to allow it’s CEO to take a private jet every weekend to and from Seattle, yeah, I’m gonna say that company SHOULD collapse.

You see, that’s how business works. If you suck at it, you fail. That’s how we learn from our mistakes. By failing at things. That’s how this country works. So that maybe one or a group of people that work for GM say “hey you know what? This actually isn’t all that bad, we can do it ourselves if we just do X differently.” And then they get to work out-performing your dumb-ass at some job you are paid WAY too much money to do.

There shouldn’t be do-overs, and Uncle Sam should NOT under ANY circumstances be throwing money at these problems! If the banks suck, let them suck! If we can’t make cars well, maybe we shouldn’t be making fucking cars! Yes, people will look bad and you will look inept and stupid and like you can’t do anything right…but that’s a valid assessment of your skills at business!

And the government, I mean, those people are too stupid to turn you down. “Oh gee golly! Lots of union workers that paid for me to get here will be mad!”

Do you know how many times people have been mad at me in my life? A lot. And guess what, I don’t fucking care. I let them be mad. What are they going to do? Not give you money next year? You probably don’t deserve it anyway. After all, what have you really done that’s worth while? Probably not much.

I hate all this crap. It is infuriating. Congress is more useless and stupid than the auto and banking industry. When I started my job I started to realize how many idiots exist in the world, but god, you’d hope they wouldn’t be running the country.