Well, at least I think I’m funny.

When you’re a childish quarter-century man like myself you begin to realize things about the world slowly but surely…as you FALL into utter states of confusion on a daily basis. Since I’ve moved I’ve come to realize many things about time as it relates to me at this point in space - most importantly? TBS is the best channel on television.

I’m a man who loves zainy comedies with no plot. Comedies that you can tell were put together just so the writers would have something to do. TBS takes all the sitcoms I would watch if I were 12 and couldn’t drink (or even if I could) and puts them all on one channel…Except the Steve Harvey Show. Steve Harvey should be killed and killed soon.

Luckily I’ve found a new love in Yes, Dear and renewed my kinship with Home Improvement. The Drew Carey Show, which I haven’t watched consistently in ages, is also VERY high on the list as it promises outlandish laughs time and again.

Then pre-dinner and night-time arrive and out come the Seinfelds and the Friends and then the movies (typically comedies or cool action flicks).

The only drawback? Commercials. TBS should just turn into an HBO-esque scheme and give me everything I love.

Most of you who know me know that once I score the “real job” I don’t plan on buying cable. This post is a testament as to why. I hate liking TV. Its awful. But if I have to have it, TBS is the place to be.

A little over a week ago my friend Sarah sent me the following link:

The Biz

In case you’re one of those people who doesn’t like to follow links I’ll explain. AOL and Warner Music (because they’re the same company after all) are putting together what they are calling a “web reality show.” This show is called The Biz. I downloaded the application, filled it out, and sent it in.

Now for those of you who know me, you know I am amazing at winning stuff. I don’t know why. I just recently won a contest on yahoo, in fact it was just about a year ago this time that I applied for that. But I digress.

I got a call just two days after sending in my application from the Biz people wanting a casting video which I finished up today and barely made the last fed-ex pickup deadline.

Now I wait.

I don’t feel too strongly about my video to be honest. I must say its not all that entertaining and certainly not up to Deathblow standards, but at the same time if they’re looking for someone who is going to pick great music - that I did.

The Biz would be pretty cool to be on from what I can tell. Apparently the people chosen for the cast will compete (much like The Apprentice) but also do things like post blogs, quizzes, and have video streams 24/7 (which is kind of cool and very creepster). The person who ends up winning in the competition will then be, virtually, given a record label. The label will be merely an imprint of Warner but hey, not too shabby right?

I am really hoping I get picked for the show - but the way my summer has gone I can’t expect anything great. Anytime my hopes have been up they have just been miserably crushed. But there’s always a chance and I’m a romantic (among other things) so it’d really work out perfectly - and it would be nice to have something great happen to me this summer.

So again I plea for your good karma and love-vibes and if you happen to know anyone at Stickfigure Productions go ahead and put in a good word for me.

Feeling the need to post but having virtually nothing important to say, I’ve decided to just randomly write some things buzzin’ ’round the old nogin.

First off I’d like to thank whoever is responsible for hiring women at my job. Holy crap. Each one is hotter than the last. So, so, very hot. I can’t wait until I’ve been around work more than 2 days so I get to start hanging out with them because not only are they hot, they’re really nice and cool.

Secondly I’d like to share a philosophy I’m starting to adapt to: Take more risks. I think risk-taking is awesome. I don’t mean like leaping in front of a bus and seeing if it stops in time, I mean if you ever think to yourself “I’d really like to do X*” then you go out and just do it. If you don’t have the money for it, then everyday at work say to yourself “every dollar I earn is bringing me closer to my goal of doing X.**”

I would also like to know who is looking at my Friendster profile. It goes up like 2 or 3 hits each day. Now, for you friendster fiends who have 643 friends this may not seem like much, but to me its a big deal, so EASE OFF!

Recently I received a comment from a girl that I, and many of my friends, know and she shall remain nameless.*** She asked why I always acted strange toward her. I didn’t understand it, asked her to explain, then she got mad or…or something. I don’t know what she got. Probably not mad. Maybe she felt dumb for asking. Or maybe she just didn’t want to talk about it cause she was a little tipsy. At any rate I would really like to know further information about my “acting strange toward her.” I like to think that either a) I act strange toward everyone or b) It’s just my bizzarre sense of humor mixed with lame attempts at flirting gone awry.

Searching for a new car is fun with no money. My dad says “you should look at cars now so when you have to buy them, you know about them.” So that’s what I’m doing. I’ve decided I either want the incredibly gas-efficient Mini Cooper, OR a small SUV whose MPG’s rank up there with a standard sedan type car (just cause I tend to have lots of crap I want to move around). Cars I like?

Mini Cooper S
Nissan Murano
Honda CRV
Mazda Tribute
Mazda 6 Hatchback
Toyota Rav 4 (These things used to blow but they look pretty cool now)
Dodge Magnum (coolest station wagon I’ve ever seen)

Next I’d just like to remind everyone to watch the John Daker video as much as possible. I watch it often everyday and it just blows my mind. Its SO funny.

Finally, my job hunt continues. Man oh man I found some doozies today. I applied for some jobs that I think would just about suit me to T. I’d like everyone reading this to take a few seconds now to send me good karma and vibes for my job applying as you know I send it all back to you, my companions in embarassing joblessness.

Thanks for tapping into my brain for a few minutes…bitches.

* this is just a variable for whatever it is one might do, not an abbreviation for Ecstacy.
** see above - but also I typed it cause if you read it the wrong way its funny.
***I bet you thought I’d put her name. Well I’m not gonna! Mainly because its not a big deal.

For those of you who have never heard of John Daker, its time. Go to the following link and watch, make sure your sound is on.

John Daker

The clip is apparently from an old public access TV show in Peoria, IL. You can read more about the show here.

The quest is on. Where is John Daker? Who can find him? What has he been doing lately? Is is his name actually John Baker? The world wants to know.