Entries from June 2007

Friday, June 29th, 2007

In defense of John Appleseed.

I guess if you’re retarded I can see why you wouldn’t like the iPhone. Your dislike probably also stems from the fact that you’ve never used a mac for more than a day (“how do I get to internet on here?”) and that you love your Motorola Q which you paid $300 for when [...]

Monday, June 25th, 2007

I am man. I mount things.

There is something about suspending something in mid air and rescuing a choking room from the clutter lodged in its corners. It’s like the day after the worst day of a cold and you cough and fire out this huge wad of yellow-hard stuff that you just know should not have been there in [...]

Friday, June 15th, 2007

Frugal Franklin.

Brewer and I were IMing. I’m not going to link him because I link him enough and he’s a big quitter anyway. Anyway, here is our IM conversation in which we created a ridiculously long dialogue between Erik and a passer-by while Erik is walking Franklin:
Guy: What’s franklin like?
Erik: Well, he’s [...]

Thursday, June 14th, 2007

My life as a stand-up comic.

I am not a stand-up comic. The guys who do that stuff are way more clever than I am. Though it’d be a lot of fun to do stand-up, I’ve actually sat down to come up with stuff and, well, the results came out about as well as the results of drinking a [...]

Tuesday, June 12th, 2007

I could just pinch your cheeks.

If New York was the woods and if I was hunter and people under the age of 25 were big game, I ‘d be really excited. I’d take my big, bright orange, plastic shotgun and go a-huntin’. Intern huntin’.
Interns are everywhere right now. This morning I went into Starbucks and I saw [...]

Monday, June 4th, 2007

Sidekick.

I was hanging out with your friend and mine, the Tiny Skateboarding Monkey the other day, and we thought it would be best if we were able to find him a sidekick.
We came up with a few – Lactose intolerant frog-boy, The Stuffy Nosed Hippo, and we actually had an appointment to meet with [...]