Well, at least I think I’m funny.

For those of you who may or may not know, my shoulder is in bad shape, and constantly comes out of it’s socket.

I tried to discipline it with abusive shouting and quiet derision, but alas it did no good and I was left with only one option: become part machine.

Tomorrow morning, as you lazy chumps struggle to throw your sheets off of your body, I will have already undergone my surgery. As 8:30 am approaches I will be closer and closer to become the complete man I once was, rather than the shadow of athletic prowess I have been for the past year or so.

After that, I will most likely have my right arm in a sling for 6 weeks and will be unable to post infrequently with more rantings about iPhone haters and other negative and derogatory prose I hurl about despite the fact that I swear up and down I never complain and try to stay positive a lot.

I am sure you’re all crushed by this, but stay tuned. I may have a thingy here or there - maybe just an idea or a sentence than I can bash out on my keyboard with my least-coordinated of hands (not really, I only write with my right hand).

Until then I’ll bid you adieu, sort of, for the next 6 weeks.

Yes, I bought one.

Yes, it’s incredible.

No, you can’t have it.

I have to say, the one-finger typing thing is super easy and not annoying at all. I’m doing what they suggest and not switching to thumbs for 10 days while it learns my patterns and keystrokes.

The iPhone prefers wireless networks and will find them anywhere it goes (if they’re there) and will connect to them and use them rather than Edge. This is pretty sweet as in New York, most restaurants and other places have Wi-Fi.

Cost - yeah, expensive, but totally worth it. Just think - when there are updates, since there are no buttons, they can be completely soft. I don’t really see a reason to wait to get an iPhone unless you really want to load it up with Music, Pics, and Movies. So far I have about 10 albums and 3 TV shows and I’m not half way full yet.

The screen is freakin’ gorgeous, and perhaps the coolest thing about this phone, is that everything on it runs just like it does on the commercials and videos on Apple.com. It’s one thing to see it on TV, but to see it look equally as good, smooth, and quick in your hand is the most astounding part.

Go get one. You won’t be disappointed.