Well, at least I think I’m funny.

First off, don’t get me wrong, I was reading through Music Think Tank today and I think it’s a great site. Here is a group of people trying to do something different within the music industry, and quantify and qualify exactly what it is that leads to an optimal end-user experience when it comes to purchasing music.

I love that. I love that people are finally rethinking the utter chaos and stupidity that is the record label structure. But there seems to be a flaw inherent in all of this thinking that these guys might be missing (I’ll be fair as I haven’t read more than the most recent posts): music should NOT be created with the intention of selling it or making money.

That’s the problem. That’s why the old music industry fell apart, and that’s why the new one probably won’t do a whole lot better.

There seems to be a lot of focus on things like peoples’ opinion, with mention even of an artist posting his song and subjecting it to users to see if they like it, and if not, how to change it. Or how to make it more marketable. Or how to develop complex algorithms that will help people find music they like based on previously selected tastes. But that’s completely absurd if you’re an ACTUAL musician. Why?

1) If you’re submitting something for someone’s approval, you’ve just created a work-for-hire, and chances are you are either writing music for a commercial, TV show, film, or what have you. Some entity is paying you money so that what you write for them comes out how they want it - so, you’re already making money. This actually makes sense and is a great way for musicians to cash in and use their talents to pay the bills, and yes, potentially happen upon a really popular bit of music (though the chances of the latter happening are quite slim).

2) If you’re an ACTUAL musician, you DO NOT care about the end result of your music. The point is not for you to become famous, the point is for you to express yourself. Should this result in commercial success in some way, fantastic. But no ACTUAL musician will do something TO MAKE MONEY.

THAT is the REAL issue.

True artists create art because they love it, and because they need to. Not because they want to become famous and make money. Anyone who is in it for the money will ultimately fail. The true musicians will stand out.

Now, notice I say “true musicians” and “actual musicians.” There are A LOT of people who play instruments, who are in bands, who write music, who get something right - the one hit wonders and joe schmoe guitar player. Money and fame for people like this is an oddity. These people probably, as a whole, aren’t terribly profound or talented, but managed to put their act together or work hard enough on something to create something that just kinda got stuck in someone’s head, or maybe they knew someone who knew someone who needed to do SOMETHING and got lucky.

I’m not saying everyone shouldn’t play music and write songs: quite the contrary, it will make you a better person, but if it isn’t happening for you commercially, there is a reason for it. Put your song in an iPhoto slideshow for your girlfriend or your mom - no doubt it will be greatly appreciated there. But if you’ve REALLY tried to get it out there…REALLY worked to get it heard by people who can do something and they’ve listened to it, and REALLY busted your butt to play publicly in any venue that will take you and you still haven’t gotten anywhere? There is a reason no one knows who you are, and it isn’t because you’re a tortured, over-looked genius who needs a business degree to get some great marketing chops in order to get his stuff sold.

The answer to the music industry is to forget the industry part. Forget that people will pay you money to make music.

Go create sound that you love to listen to, that fascinates you, that captivates you. THEN bust your ass to get copies of it to everyone you know. THEN start playing publicly. THEN create the bond with the people.

You simply can’t do it the other way around - people aren’t smart enough to tell you what they want, and you’re not good enough to come up with it anyway. No one is.

Do it for love.

Last night I went out and had a few drinks for my birthday, starting off at the ever-delicious Yuca Bar, and then moving on to whatever random place we stumbled across next.

The random place we ended up at, I’ve actually been to a couple of times before. They have really good food and good specials, but it’s usually empty. When we walked into the place, it was indeed pretty empty, so we walked up to the bar, ordered our drinks, and then sat at one of the two outdoor tables.

Nothing really exciting happened other than some conversing about Flight of the Concords, when all of a sudden a pack of hiply-dressed ruffians came outside and stood nearby to smoke a cigarette. Naturally they were immediately the subject of our ridicule. This went on for a few minutes as we polished off our final round but as we got up to leave, I heard something come from one of their mouths I never expected:

“…dude, Pat Metheny. I LOVE Pat Metheny! Have you ever heard him? He is incredible!”

Naturally this guy’s friends had never heard of Metheny and began to ridicule this guy, but in my brain-holes, I immediately took back everything derogatory I said about that guy, and instead shifted it onto his friends.

So kudos to you, random dude who loves Pat Metheny, you have a brain and put it to good use a decent amount of the time. As for your friends? Well, screw them.

Every year everyone has a day when people’s friends get together and celebrate, in whatever fashion the person’s choosing is, that individual’s right to be a complete an utter asshole for a day. Oh right, some people call it a Birthday too.

They can go to whatever restaurant, followed by whatever bar, that costs however much money, and if you go, you can’t complain because everyone will say “Shhh!!! It’s their birthday! You can’t complain!!”

I like to do things a little differently. Instead, my birthday is the one day a year when I just want all my friends together and have a good time; it is the one day of the year when my friends can count on me NOT being an asshole. The Italians do things this way, and I think that’s pretty cool. Of course, the birthday person is also the one who buys all the drinks so…I’m not sure how keen I am on that.

However, I AM very keen on going out and having a great, not-so-expensive time and just laughing my ass off for a few hours, other than insisting we do what I want and have YOU pay for it.

Also I’m curious to know, to I have to respond to everyone who wrote “Happy Birthday!!” on my Facebook wall? Or do they know how insane and time-consuming that is? Maybe I’ll just change my status to “appreciates your birthday wishes but doesn’t feel obligated to tell you so individually on your wall because, well, that’s a lot of work.”

So, what am I doing for my birthday today? Well, so far I have a track workout at 7pm planned. Other than that…I’m undecided. If you’re in the city and want to find me at a bar somewhere, send me a text.