I know you all are really “enlightened” and sure maybe your intellectual property laws are setup better than ours. But good Lord, if you’re going to stereotype Americans as gun-spinning cowboys, don’t rape babies. Because it will bite you in the ass.
If it were 1986 and I were 30 and lived in hollywood and did lines and were mentally deficient I would write a sitcom about a combination Handyman/Lawyer. The handyman-ing would be his day job and the lawyer thing he could have quit cause he didn’t like it or got tired of it or whatever.
This Handyman lawyer basically goes around fixing things poorly, but endearing himself to the people for which he performs his duties. I guess his name would be something like Mark John Jeffries Sr., just so when people see the people PC kid in the nineties they’ll say “hey his dad is the guy from that Handyman/Lawyer show!” He carries his tools around in a briefcase and works in a really slick suit but he doesn’t care if he gets stuff all over it. I guess there’d have to be some other main characters like a sidekick of some sort. Maybe he could have hallucintations about Wrenchy, the talking wrench who guides him to make the right decisions. Then there’d be a love interest who’s always calling him over to fix stuff. Anyway here are some catch-phrases for him:
See it would work really well. Also instead of using a hammer for stuff he’d use a gavel. I think it’d also be great if unfrozen cave-man lawyer made a guest appearance. Since its 86 Phil Hartman would still be alive, but unfrozen cave-man lawyer wouldn’t be invented yet, I’d be a pioneer. You’d watch it and love it.
I have never in my life seen people excited to drink Sunny D. Further still I don’t think anyone buys it, and if they do chances are they’d choose at LEAST OJ over it if not soda. The purple stuff could be any number of things, but I’d still choose it over Sunny D. Sunny D is like having an OJ milkshake. Its so thick and disgusting. I like that now Sunny D also has a Sunny D sport type drink. I can’t imagine anyone coming off the court or sideline at a game somewhere and saying, man I’m so thirsty, where’s the Sunny D? Give me a break. That’d be like saying “Man I could really go for a cold glass of milk” and then drinking motor oil. Sunny D I hate you and all you stand for. May the purple stuff dominate over you for years to come.