As many of you know, a lot of my friends are in law school and have been tediously preparing for the bar throughout the summer. Here is a little tribute poem I’ve created for all you hard-working individuals who want to make money and ruin people’s lives so badly, you’ll go to 3 extra years of school and take on 100K dollars worth of debt.
Ode to the Bar-takers
Ode to the Bar-takers,
The bar-taking crowd.
Their last couple months have been quiet,
not loud.
Their books open wide,
Their eyes almost shut,
In libraries late-nights,
The silence, un-cut.
The reading’s gone on,
and on for straight days,
Their eyes getting squinty,
from lack of sun’s rays.
But distractions were sought,
taking breaks here and there.
Drink a beer, play Halo,
Scope out that girl’s underwear.
Some people stressed first,
and now are relaxed,
While those who stress now,
are having heart attacks.
But Lawyers you’ll be,
each one, this I know.
Because you’re all great big jerks,
who take joy in big dough.
You’ll argue and cuss,
you’ll work late at night,
You’ll drive fancy cars,
With those too-brite headlights.
Some will have boats,
and others have mansions,
Still others will hang out,
In the Hamptons with Ted Danson.
And some of you noble,
true lawyers you won’t be.
You’ll work for the little guy,
and the smallest of fees.
So get ready, Prepare!
The days are upon you.
Weiner and Waxman are my friends,
who are jews.
You’ll need lots of sleep,
then plenty of Coke.
Sharpen your pencils,
That shit can’t be broke!
Wear your luckiest charms,
and your undies so fancy,
To make sure that luck,
makes the test show clemency.
But whatever you do,
don’t lie and don’t cheat!
You can B.S. a little,
to stay on your feet.
That’s all the advice,
a musician can muster.
Oh also I say,
You better pass buster!
Cause if you don’t,
then you’ll end up like me.
Living at home,
in a lame-ass city.
But I’m sure you’ll do great,
if you stick to your guns.
So good luck to the bar-takers,
Each and everyone.
Good luck!
thanks!
muah!