Alright kids, I know you’ve been wanting me to post for a while. When you get as much fan mail as I do (none) it becomes apparent how completely useless your blog is. Luckily, I think I’m pretty great. Here are a bunch of things that have crossed my mind of late, or events that have occurred in my life.
1) Job stuff – well I still haven’t heard from Nonstop Music in NYC. I was supposed to hear early this week at the latest so I have no idea what they’re doing. I’ve phoned twice and sent an email – nothing. Just two days ago I had my two interviews with the library of congress in Washington, DC.
First I’d like to mention that on the way down my phone rang – my bluetooth headset auto answered and I said “Hello?” The area code was a 212 – sweet. I thought it would be the call from Nonstop. Instead it was a bit of a surprise. A really good-natured person I’ve been in contact with at EMI Music Publishing in NYC has been nice enough to send me job postings when she gets them. About a week ago I applied for a job at Razor&tie (they do like compilation NOW type albums). Well the phone call was from the guy to whom I sent my resume. He said “we pretty much filled that position the next day because it was an internal referral, but I was wondering if you’d be interested in any positions in the future and if I could keep your resume on file.” Of course I said yes and was generally fired up that I’m FINALLY getting some calls about jobs – even though the jobs don’t yet exist. Back to DC…
Both interviews, I feel, went extremely well. I am fully qualified for the jobs (they’re both basically the same, but in different areas) and I made a good impression. I know you know there’s a but, so here it is:
BUT
The jobs would be incredibly boring. I’d be trained throughout my first year, analyzing copyright claims and making sure they were correct…that’s it. That’s all. Sitting in a cube, interacting with no one, doing boring paperwork. I asked the six people in the interviews what they liked best about the job. Their answers? Free-time, good vacation, good medical, reimbursement for public transportation. I thought to myself – “wait a minute, didn’t I ask what they liked about the JOB?!” Everything they mentioned was entirely unrelated to the actual work to be performed. Also they were all huge nerds. We’re talkin’ bow-ties, skinny, even braces. It was unreal.
Two more things about DC. I would love to work there if I could find a job I’d be happy with – mainly because I have a lot of friends in the area. When I was leaving my car and walking to the Madison building however, I caught myself thinking the following:
“Man, this would be a really great place to live…but its not New York City.”
And as I walked into the Madison building, and into the room where I’d be interviewing (and working if I got the job) I caught myself thinking this:
“I don’t want this job.”
I could just tell.
When I got home from Washington I checked my email expecting nothing too great, what did I find? Yet another job interview! I couldn’t believe it. The Harry Fox Agency in NYC had yanked the resume I sent them in May. I called the woman back and so a week from Tuesday I’m headed back to New York to try my hand with another company.
It’s really nice to be making at least SOME progress in the real world. I’m starting to think I may be gainfully employed sooner than I think.
2) Lee Corso –
Lee Corso is the oldest stupidest man on the face of the earth. He refers to our beloved Joe Paterno as “Joe Pa-pa” and generally makes idiotic comments and the worst predictions since Charlie Manson (though I like to think Mr. Manson is a better person). In fact, I hear that Lee Corso once fucked a pig…I forget where I saw that though.
3) Friends are great. I love making friends and talking to people. They all know such different things and are interested in such different activities, I love asking questions and learning things from them. It’s also fund to get drunk with them.
4) I am old. I’m reminded every day by certain 20 year-olds (some of whom have just turned 20) who enjoy rubbing it in. It’s tough to be 25 in a town where most kids are struggling to be 21.
5) Underarmour commercials are really fuckin’ stupid. It’s like a rap video without any rap. I don’t even really know what else to say. Why does that one guy have to shout? No, we get it, protect your house, but at least be quiet. You’ll disturb the other houses in the neighborhood.
6) Penn State football rules. I really thoroughly enjoy it and am looking forward to trouncing Ohio State Next week.
7) Small football celebrations. Okay, this is pretty damn funny. Whenever you watch football, the most minor player will do an idiot celebration after the slightest good play…it doesn’t matter how much they’re losing by, how many times they’ve fumbled or caused mishaps earlier, these guys are generally happy they’ve managed to knock someone over. Let me say that again. These guys, these 6 feet plus guys who weigh at least 250 lbs, are PROUD they were able to knock someone, someone who is typically 5’11” and 185 lbs, down. In fact they’re so proud they, the 6 foot plus, 250 plus lb guy, does a little dance or a goofy walk. Here are what I have named some of these dances and walks –
– The poopy pants shuffle – this is when the celebrator is kind of sqautting like he pooped a little, or is holding in a poop, or is shaking off a poop…or something. Something has gone wrong with poop and he’s trying to keep it in his pants.
– The “I can’t Walk”, walk – this is after the hit, the guy remains on his feet, but begins to take long low strides and then gradually raises back up to normal walk-mode. It sort of looks like he’s pretending he’s crippled, but don’t worry, he’s just joking. How could a crippled person make such a tooth-rattling hit?
– No, no, no – In this celebration, the player emphatically shakes his head, waves his arms, and stomps slowly about with a wide-legged stance. I guess the idea is to indicate that no, indeed your foolish play won’t work! But i mean, hindsight is 20/20. It would take real balls to do it before the ball was snapped, and then make it happen.
– Team jumping – this is typically after a long run. The guy who ran will typically get nailed and then let his momentum carry him quickly back on his feet. He will then hop up and down in place while his teammates, seeing this and becoming jealous of the hopping, will run at and usually into him. Then they’ll all start hopping around together for a few minutes in a big group hug-like circle. Sometimes it involves slapping each other, sometimes it doesn’t.
– I can’t hear you – This one I think is stolen from Hulk Holgan. The player, after a big tackle, will rotate his wrist a few times, then put his hand to his ear as if he can’t hear the crowd – who should be cheering him for his awesome feat. It was gay then, its gay now.
Okay, I think that’s all I’ve come up with for now. I’ll do my best to post more often, but as usual I make no promises.