I watched Grey’s Anatomy for the first time last Thursday night. Well that’s not exactly true. Technically it was the second time, but the first time I wasn’t really paying attention and talked through the whole thing – oh, if only I had been smart enough to do that the second time around.
Everywhere I go it seems some girl I know can’t wait to watch Grey’s Anatomy or put up a quote from it in her away message. When The Office ended and Deal or No Deal came on I quickly reached for the remote so my exposure to Howie Mandel’s shiny head and unpolished humor would be minimal. I started looking for one of the seemingly many new dramas on TV: Heroes, The Nine, Studio 60, then I quickly realized none of them were on. However, as I was flipping I recognized Grey’s Anatomy and thought “What the hell? I’ve had two beers.”
I’m not sure how exactly to describe my feelings toward the show. First of all, I found it utterly useless that it takes place in a hospital. They could easily transfer all these “doctors” to work at a Gap in a mall and they’d accomplish just about the same amount of doctoring as they do in the hospital.
Second, Most of the dialogues were women either trying to figure men out, figure themselves out, or just whining about things in general. The (I’m guessing) main character (chick from Old School) was all upset because she couldn’t choose between one of two men and she was a surgical intern so she wanted to be wooed properly because she didn’t have a lot of time to get it right. Ugh. If I wanted to listen to women complain about things I don’t care about, I would answer my cell phone when Erik calls.
Also, the guys on the show are totally ridiculous. One of the dudes couldn’t tell his girlfriend he didn’t want to move in with her. Please. If I had a girlfriend (and I imagine after writing this post I never will again) who asked me to move in and I didn’t want to, there would be nothing stopping me from making the “slcchhh” face, telling her no, and then turning on football.
If I was one of those Irish dudes what’s-her-face is trying to date, I would split faster than a horny gymnast. I mean those guys are getting completely played. I’m not sure that Robin is a doctor, but I know the other guy is. If I were to give him advice it’d go something like this:
Andy: Hey dude, what’s up?
Doc: Hey Andy, I’m sad.
Andy: Oh, why’s that?
Doc: This girl I like is seeing another guy, and I don’t know what to do?
Andy: Man, your hair is making you a co-star!
Andy: Seriously. Do you have a team of people work on it in the mornings? I am the last person to know anything about style or fashion – but that hair is just remarkable. Is it real?
Doc: Well…yeah, but we can talk about my-
Andy: Look at it! It’s like someone froze the ocean and painted it glossy, jet black!
Doc: Ugh. Can you please-
Andy: If I were a tiny monkey I would buy a skateboard and make your hair my own personal skate park. I’d be the tiniest skating monkey ever! People would come from miles around and say “hey! Look at that tiny monkey skate!” I could charge admission!
Doc: Are we going to talk about my girl problems?
Andy: Your what? I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I swear your hair just waved at me and blew me a kiss.
Doc: I’m having girl problems!
Andy: Oh right. Dump her. You’re a doctor you moron. Take your hair and go pick up whoever you want. Duh.
Sorry ladies. I know the majority of you love this show, but I just didn’t get it. Then again, my dream is to be a tiny, skate-boarding monkey. So what do I know?