For those of you who may or may not know, my shoulder is in bad shape, and constantly comes out of it’s socket.
I tried to discipline it with abusive shouting and quiet derision, but alas it did no good and I was left with only one option: become part machine.
Tomorrow morning, as you lazy chumps struggle to throw your sheets off of your body, I will have already undergone my surgery. As 8:30 am approaches I will be closer and closer to become the complete man I once was, rather than the shadow of athletic prowess I have been for the past year or so.
After that, I will most likely have my right arm in a sling for 6 weeks and will be unable to post infrequently with more rantings about iPhone haters and other negative and derogatory prose I hurl about despite the fact that I swear up and down I never complain and try to stay positive a lot.
I am sure you’re all crushed by this, but stay tuned. I may have a thingy here or there – maybe just an idea or a sentence than I can bash out on my keyboard with my least-coordinated of hands (not really, I only write with my right hand).
Until then I’ll bid you adieu, sort of, for the next 6 weeks.