But you wouldn’t ever know it to look at me. Why? Because I don’t wear a Yankees or Red Sox anything. Ever. I don’t watch their games. I don’t even hop on the bandwagon when they inevitably make it to the playoffs (after some retarded “scare” that they won’t).
I hate the Yankees. And I hate the Red Sox.
Why? Because the fans are obnoxious. They’re loud, fair-weather, drunken idiots. A true fan is loud, drunken, knows what he/she is talking about, and faithfully watches as many games as possible win or lose.
One time my roommate asked me “you don’t even care a little bit about whether or not Boston beats Cleveland?”
Uh. No. I don’t. In fact, I constantly root for the Red Sox and Yankees to lose so their season will end. Because I want the stupid fans to shut up and go away for as long as possible.
Now, like every rule there is an exception here. That guy who is 278 years old who has been to every single Boston or Yankees game or has had season tickets since 1904. That guy is a fan. People who have been around the block and have and will always root for the team and pay attention to it and know what is going on with them. They are fans.
People who just like to get hammered and speculate about crap they don’t know about? Loud, drunken, obnoxious idiots.
Oh, go Manny! Oh, A-Rod finally doesn’t suck again! Hooray! Oh, Big Papi! Oh how can you NOT root for Derek Jeter!
This is how.
(picture me, crossing my arms and looking sternly at you and shaking my head)