I love that joke. It is so stupid and barely fits but whenever someone says “I’m gonna call my mom/friend/chimp” my response is almost always “what are you going to call them?”
Well I imagine that lately when someone turns to their friend to utter those words about me, the conversation goes more like this (by the way, hasn’t it been just too damn long since I’ve done a dialogue?):
Andy’s Friend: I’m gonna call Andy.
Friend of Andy’s Friend: No! Don’t!
AF: Why not?
AF: Uh, yeah.
FoAF: Don’t call him!
FoAF: NO! Chickens! DANGER!
AF: That doesn’t even make sense!
FoAF: Doesn’t it?!
AF: No it doesn’t. It makes just as much sense as me coordinating doing something with Andy, and then not calling him.
FoAF: You’ll just have to take that chance.
FoAF: I don’t think you get it. He wants you to call!
FoAF: But there’s poison!
AF: But I told him I–
AF: So if I call Andy…
AF: There will be poison?
AF: And Chickens?
AF: And if I don’t call?
FoAF: Balloons! Clowns!
AF: Now you’re just listing things at a carnival! This is ridiculous.
FoAF: You’re not going to call him though, are you?
AF: Of course not. You’ve talked me out of it with your rigorous logic.
AF: Soup with gravy in it!
It just doesn’t make sense. No one is calling me, texting me, no one is doing anything in order to contact me these days. It’s like I’m Samuel Morse and everyone in the world is friends with Alexander Graham Bell. And he’s all like “Dude, peep this phone-sie!” And they’re all “Yee, Boy-eee!” And I’m like “But yo, the code! Don’t forget the code!” And then they’re like “…” (that’s them giving the peace-out sign as they walk away).
What are you gonna call me?