Role-models?

I am sliding down the slipperiest slope ever to slant. And it’s happening really quickly. But it’s not my fault! You see, due to the amount of ridiculous happenings in my life including grey-area situations, not-so-grey area situations, and things that are downright rude, I am starting to hate pretty much everyone because they are selfish jerks.

The show Curb Your Enthusiasm makes me shake my head and feel sorry for the Larry. I feel like Seinfeld is kind of the same way – he really just tells people what he thinks and if he doesn’t want to do something or thinks it’s stupid, he doesn’t participate. The only real difference is Jerry doesn’t explain why. But I love those two guys because they understand something that I am just beginning to – no one cares about anything but themselves and what they do, so why bother to make time for them and do things for them?

I have been ignored, stood-up, insulted, and walked all over recently because I was trying to help people out or do them favors or be a good person. I am slowly learning that doing people favors only wastes time and money that I could use to be doing things that I want to do. Chances are if you’ve even made the slightest attempt to be cordial with me, you are safe. Everyone else? Blow.

Sunday I went to brunch with two lovely ladies, and they showed up on time. And I thought, “wow, this is awesome. Someone actually showed up where they said they would at the time they said they would.” And Friday night someone was nice enough to text me to tell me they’d be late.

I really like those people now. Not that I didn’t like them before. And not that I dislike those other jerks but if I get two phone calls and one is from them and one is from someone else, chances are someone else won’t hear back from me.

I don’t really mind being like the (e)(a)rrys. They’re funny after all, and successful. The point is…don’t expect me to wait for you anymore if you are late. Don’t expect me to come to things I don’t want to come to. Don’t expect me to want to meet your friends or help you out. And don’t act surprised if you ask me to do something and instead of me just saying “sure” I say “you know what? I don’t really care about that.”