I know, I know, sucky title. Look, I’m happy we have a new president and I think it’s cool America has turned enough of a corner to get a black dude in the white house – but this is more ridiculous than I thought it would be. The Today Show was just gushing about any and everything their camera was focused on, people are hoping to find “Obama Parties” to go to, and I think it’s all a bit much.
Earlier a friend of mine criticized me for suggesting that people were going too far with their celebrations, it went a little something like this…
Excited Person: Woooo! WOOO! Woooo!! WOOOO!
Andy: Hey, what’s all the fuss about?
Excited Person: OBAMA! WOOO!!! WOOO!! woooooooo!
Andy: Oh the inauguration is today, cool.
EP: Wooooo hooo! YOW! OW OW OW OW OW!!
Andy: …Um, you already knew he’d be president on this day right?
EP: Of course but now it’s FINALLY here! OW OW OW OW! It’s Historical! It’s an historical event!
Andy: Why is it historical? The president always gets inaugurated on this day.
EP: He’s black! YES! WOOO!
Andy: Yes but, surely you’re not that excited simply because our president is black. Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was great when he got elected months ago, but he’s got a lot of work to do as President. Our country is in bad shape. He’s got to work on the budget, the economy, essentially the entire Middle-East is in worse shape than Kevin James’ toilet, and—
EP: HEY! GO TO HELL! WHY CAN’T I BE EXCITED! I’M GOING TO A FUCKING PARTY TO DRINK MY FACE OFF AND THEN CELEBRATE HOW MUCH THE COUNTRY HAS CHANGED!
Andy: But the country hasn’t changed yet. Circuit City will be laying off 30,000 employees this week. There’s really nothing to party about – we already knew Obama would be president since November.
EP: Oh you think you’re SOOOO cool! Being APATHETIC. You just like PISSING people off! That’s the only reason you’re being logically coherent about the inauguration today! You’re too stupid to be blind to the fact that essentially nothing has actually happened yet, and that we’re celebrating for literally, no good reason at all, except race, which is kind of racist in and of itself if you think about it!
Andy: Um, I was apathetic for the last two elections I voted in and no one seemed to get upset about that. I just don’t like the government – I don’t trust most politicians much less respect their intelligence – no matter which party they run under. Obama can definitely do some good and I think he will, but he hasn’t done it yet, and it’ll probably take at least 2 years, if not his entire first term.
But I will definitely celebrate then when our economy is recovering and other various, huge problems are on their way to being resolved.
EP: You’re such an ASSHOLE and I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU FOR LIVING! And I especially hate you for having a different opinion than me and for reserving your celebration until there’s actually something to celebrate! GO TO HELL! I’m leaving!
Andy: Wow, the only way that could’ve gone worse is if Franklin showed–