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After spending the previous day looking at temples, and having not done any shopping, Mary’s bargain-bone started tickling her. We’d heard some really great things about the Chatuchak market and decided to check it out on Saturday afternoon.

We hopped on the skytrain and headed North. The commute was easy and uneventful even though we were slightly unsure of which way to turn upon exiting the train. This dilemma was quickly solved by the gaggle of people streaming down the sidewalks in our general direction. We walked upstream.

It was almost 2 pm by the time we officially decided we were in the right place, and also very hungry. Luckily the first street we turned down (sort of an artery into the main market area) offered a great little sidewalk cafe.

When I say sidewalk cafe I mean it in the most literal sense. These are found all over Thailand and consist of some cheap plastic chairs and tables on the sidewalk next to some sort of food cart, and in this case two portable stoves with huge steaming pots on them. Our decision to eat here was based largely on the population of the cafe gentry: Thai.

The food proved delicious – some sort of pork ball in a spicy soup broth that had me licking chops and chopsticks alike. This lot for both of us plus a couple of waters cost roughly $4.

On full bellies we headed into the market. Going into this situation I knew I was in for a lot of looking, waiting, and giving my opinion as Mary proclaimed each shop better than the last! I tried to remind her that we only had what space was left in our backpacks to which she happily replied that she noticed I had more than enough space in my pack should she run out of room.

Mary picked up a black dress and a pair of what I can only describe as ‘Hammer Pants with an apron sewn on the front,’ and I bought some rice cakes from a lady on the street. I thought they were going to be coconut.

I can’t explain the disappointment in biting into something expecting a coconut taste and getting a rice taste, other than saying if it were my child it would have issues once it grew up. I left the extras somewhere in a vendor’s market stall.

A few hours had passed and after a quick restroom stop that would’ve put most US highway gas stations to shame, we started to make our way out of the market. Luckily, we passed another stall that caught Mary’s eye!

I told her I was going to head around the corner to browse on my own – grumpy partly that I had to wait for her again, but mostly because I hadn’t found anything to buy for myself.

Darting out of the stall I took a quick left and took maybe 5 steps when I instantly saw my treasure. Like a weathered fisherman spotting a lighthouse in the perfect storm, or a drunk guy spotting a Denny’s at the height of an all night drunk, it practically sang out to me.

Hanging from the tips of a shabby table umbrella was a white t-shirt, depicting Robocop. But not the disciplined and principled kill-machine Robocop you and I know. No, this Robocop is different. He’s obese and happily munching on a donut, coffee in his opposite hand, and smiling merrily as his waist-line heaves with the girth of his rotund belly. $1. I didn’t even bother to try to negotiate.

I can’t even remember what happened the rest of the day I was so excited! Mary got something else, not as cool as my shirt, and we took the train back, to our room for our last night in Bangkok.

Our hotel includes a free half-day tour of guest’s choice of 3 sights in Bangkok and we chose to go see the major temples – I tried haggling them into paying usto go on the tour since I read that everything is negotiable, but it fell on deaf on ears. Our guide Jean met us in front of the hotel and off we went.

The first stop was Temple of the Dawn – which I thought would be filled with dish-washing detergent since the outside of it is completely covered in broken dishes – but surprisingly it was just some hundred-year-old temple!

Apparently King Rama (don’t ask me which number) had a bunch of porcelain dishware imported from China and since bubble wrap hadn’t been invented yet, much of it broke. The king, in what must have been the first ever green initiative, decided to have a temple constructed and decorated with the shattered bits. Eat your heart out Al Gore.

It was very cool to see the designs up close, but also interesting to learn that the temple was about 120 years old. Initially I thought it would be much more ancient. It made the temple no less ornate, however, and the gradient of the steps made for a heart-pounding climb for more reasons than one!

This would be one of many times that Mary and I are happy we’re on our travels now. When we retire knees and ankles would fare no better than the porcelain shipped from China on climbs like this!

We moved on to Wat Pho where the reclining Buddah…reclines. He is truly massive! Covered in some ridiculous amount of gold leaf made from real gold, it was enough to make an old prospector bang his pots and pans with excitement! Not to mention the feet inlaid with mother of pearl.

Mostly I was taking pictures during this part of the tour so I wasn’t paying very close attention to the guide. The whole lot is very impressive and it was also interesting to see Buddhists paying their respects in traditional fashion. This involves kneeling with legs together and feet pointing away from the Buddah shrine, and then bowing from the waist to the floor.

I am convinced that if Americans had to do this activity it would put a large percentage of the larger ones in the hospital – it is no small flexible feat (it does however require flexible feet).

After Wat Pho we moved on to the final site which was a more modern temple constructed of marble rather than stone – keeping the temple

much more cool in the heat and humidity of Thailand. Again a Buddah shrine was contained therein.

The temples offer a great opportunity to get away from the hustle of Bangkok and reflect on a very peaceful religion while taking in some beautifully ornate detail and history at the same time.

Once our tour was over we headed back to the hotel and, due to traffic it took a while. Late for the dinner we had schedule with Mark, his wife Boon, their son, and his wife’s mom, Mary and I arrived hungry.

They took us to a traditional Thai restaurant where Boon’s mom practically force fed us some delicious delicacies until we nearly popped! I’d blame Thailand’s very friendly and caring attitude towards visitors for my expanded belly, but I’d be lying if I told you I tried my hardest to refuse the second helpings.

Next on the agenda, the Chatuchak weekend market!

We got up early on November the 9th to overpay for a taxi in Cairo one last time and head to the airport. Ultimately that day we’d wind up in Abu Dhabi before heading to Bangkok the next morning.

Landing-gear down and back at Kaitlin’s apartment – me needing desperately to replace the shoes AND flip flops I brought, and Mary seeking to find a spot to get a henna tattoo – a trip to the mall was in order. It proved fruitless for me and a trip to the beauty parlor wound up in me getting chased out (what with all those ankles and knees showing) and back to the already exhausted mall.

Jet lag was murdering us – multiple time zone changes and fairly long flights over just a few days will do that, but I snuck in a quick CrossFit workout that night before bed.

There are a thousand things to do in Abu Dhabi but you can do about nine hundred and ninety-seven of them better in the U.S. – we were excited to head to Bangkok.

The next morning (November 10th) slightly rushed in grabbing our boarding passes, we cut a bunch of people in line (thanks Cairo for that trick). As she was printing our boarding passes the attendant took notice of our clothes. We were flying on a staff ticket (purchased by Kalani for us) and shorts and collar-less shirts with flip flops was not acceptable. Oops. Bathroom. Backpack. Boo-yah. Knees, elbows, ankles and toes covered, we strolled back out to get our boarding passes.

Boarding began shortly after our arrival to the gate and as I stepped on the plane I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and relaxation; like I just pooped out 700 years of oppression. I didn’t expect this feeling. The Middle East was definitely a neat place to see, but the clinging to old cultural traditions and it’s abundance got to me without even noticing it.

There is nothing divine about completely masking yourself to society or refusing anyone an education. A government blocking Skype or one that relies on brute force to keep the ‘peace’ is one that can only be modern superficially. It affects everyone. However, it’s how many choose to live and govern and my perspective stems from a different life based on different values. I am very glad for that difference. Thanks Uncle Sam.

The flight was a short 6 hours and a time zone change of 3, putting us a half day in the future of everyone back home. We didn’t even have to use our flux capacitor! Our friend Mark met us at the airport and was kind enough to get us swiftly to our hotel via taxi from the airport.

Our hotel street…well, let’s just say it was the antithesis of Abu Dhabi and Egypt. We’d later find that a spot just down the road from where we stayed was featured in our guide book as being a staple of the red light district. It was a bit of a shock, especially since we came from such a buttoned-up society. But if the Middle East was buttoned up, Bangkok’s buttons had been popped off in a drunken bout of hormonally driven passion for a lady-boy and then sold at a night market for 50 baht.

The hotel itself was clean, pretty big, and well located and despite the debauchery in our locality Bangkok felt safer and more welcoming. People in shorts and t-shirts and no one dressed up like a ninja (though now reconsidering, if Jesus told me to dress like a ninja, I just might do it) and machine-gun touting guards replaced with grilled-meat-on-a-stick-touting street vendors. It was already great.

We spent the next day (November 11th)…at a mall. I know, I know. But you see, my shoes were just SO uncomfortable! I snagged a pair of Sanuk’s to replace my flip flops and my sneakers have been in my backpack ever since.

That night we had dinner with Mark, his wife Boon, and their son Ben at the mall. By the time dinner finished we were both ready to get some fresh air and then head back for sleep – still adjusting a bit to the time difference.

The hotel offered a complimentary half-day tour of the temples of Bangkok which we scheduled for the next day (November 12th).