asking

If you’re in a group of people asking and answering questions you might notice…

The person asking the question might not have confidence in their question, either because they’re not sure exactly what their question is, or because there’s something holding them back from being direct. They’re hoping that the answerer will interpret their meaning and answer the intent behind the question, rather than the question itself.

The person answering the question doesn’t. Instead, they state some belief that’s adjacent to the subject of the question, but they don’t address the question directly. Whether or not the question was direct is irrelevant.

If you’re a listener and you feel like there is a chasm between the question being asked and the question being answered, you’re probably right. You can raise your hand, clarify the question or the answer or both.

What you shouldn’t do is sit there, assuming that someone else has all the answers.

It’s easy to feel unappreciated and overlooked. For all the talk about teamwork and collaboration, most people, most of the time, are not thinking about you (to test this ask yourself: “am I thinking about them?”). This isn’t their fault.

They’re thinking about all the tasks they have to do to move a project forward, to take care of things at home, to improve themselves. So unless what you’re doing greatly improves or severely limits the chance of one of their things, your thing will probably go unnoticed.

But it doesn’t have to.

You’re allowed to ask for help when you need it. You can propose a different solution. You can make it clear that your needs aren’t being met and then suggest a way to change that.

If you decide to do that, have a plan and be ready to sell it. Make sure your thing becomes aligned with their thing, and definitely be ready to raise your hand, discuss it, and compromise.

In the end, the only person responsible for you being overlooked is you. What are you going to do about it?

Answer the question

Overlooked