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When we learn, we run into scenarios where we don’t know the answer. We’ve been trained to ask questions when we find ourselves in such a predicament; that there’s a right answer to find.

If we don’t get the answer right away, we might be tempted to wait until we have it – especially if we have access to someone who’s an expert.

And most experts will give you an answer if you ask them. After all, it feels good to help and the expert knows how it feels to have once been in the place where you are now: not knowing.

But sometimes we can let not knowing stop us from taking action. Even if we get a few questions answered, we may find that it uncovers yet more questions. Or we may find that the answer isn’t the mysterious secret we thought it might be, leaving us pretty much where we started; having a basic understanding of what is needed but not the full experience of knowing.

Whether you know an answer or not, your question will remain ethereal to you until you try the thing for yourself.

So instead of asking, thinking there’s perfect information, just start doing. Taking action is the best way to know a thing.

One of my favorite things about diving into conversations with musicians is that inevitably, other musicians come up.

Ben and I chatted about a variety of artists across a spectrum of jazz, gospel, blues, and more.

You can see the show notes if you want to see a list of all the topics and music that came up.

See here for a playlist of the music – all of the artists are mentioned, but I chose the corresponding tracks in most cases:

AppleMusic, Spotify, Amazon Music

One day my trombone teacher and I had a conversation about my stage fright. Stage fright can manifest both mentally and physically. Shorter breathing and quivering appendages are not great when you need to breath and blow with good posture. It’s not a pleasant experience. Perhaps the worst part though, is the non-stop thinking about whether you’ve practiced enough and what the people in the audience will think if you make a mistake (or twelve).

So it’s important to know two things – first, you can control how much you prepare and second, you cannot control what people in the audience think. But despite the fact that you cannot control what people think, what you need to be aware of is your assumptions. You’re assuming the people are thinking the worst things and that they’re thinking them about you and your performance. And, just like most situations in life, you are almost certainly wrong about those assumptions.

Unlike most situations in life, when you put yourself out there – whether its on a stage performing, or on the court playing, or in the meeting presenting – not only are the people not thinking bad things about you – most of them are rooting for you.

If you do well, they will be excited to tell people they know you. They’ll love the impact you have on them. They’ll remember your idea and how you executed it. They’ll be inspired to do their own thing.

So when you’re not sure, when you’re second-guessing, when you’re afraid – remember that if you’ve prepared, you are as ready as you can be.

And when you look into the audience, as the self-doubt starts to creep in, just remember: we’re rooting for you.

Is it because you need to fill a gap in the team skillset? Is it because you need expertise in a function? Are you hiring because you have too much work to do?

Or do people keep talking about growth and “more people” is what you think growth is?

Are other people getting promoted because they have bigger teams and so you’re making a bigger team?

Is there an initiative that you think is necessary but maybe you’re having a tough time articulating why to your colleagues?

From a business perspective there are good reasons to hire and bad, and some businesses incentivize the bad (inadvertently or not).

It isn’t always your fault when you hire for the wrong reason, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have your eyes wide open about it.

It isn’t that your idea is bad. It isn’t that you’re mean. Or too agreeable. It’s not your clothes. I guess it could be your smell but here’s hoping you shower regularly.

They just don’t know you. They don’t know where you’re coming from. They haven’t experienced working with you. They don’t get your expertise and they don’t know why they need it. They definitely don’t know your sense of humor.

The good news is you haven’t let anybody down. The challenge is that you don’t have many opportunities to make an impression, so when you do get an opportunity, don’t squander it.

When you have the attention, make it worth their while.

Making it worth their while doesn’t mean they need to know you better. It doesn’t mean you talk about how great you are or how good your plan is. It means showing you understand them, so that what you do sticks to their thing in a way that makes it better.

No one wants to help someone they don’t know. But most people do appreciate someone who understands them, listens to them, and wants their thing to be great just like they do.

So figure out how your thing helps their thing. Show you seek to listen and understand. Offer to help.

Then they’ll get to know you.